50+ Murphy's Laws That Will Change The Way We Think

Murphy's General Laws

(1) Nothing is as easy as it looks.

(2) Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.

(3) If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.

(4) If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.

(5) If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

(6) It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.

(7) Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first.

(8) The Light at the end of the tunnel is only the light of an oncoming train.

Murphy's Military Laws

(9) Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are.

(10) The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.

(11) The problem with taking the easy way out is that the enemy has already mined it .

(12) The further you are in advance of your own positions, the more likely your artillery will shoot short.

(13) If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush.

(14) If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap.

(15) The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.

(16) If your sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.

Murphy's Technology Laws

(17) You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the track.

(18) Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.

(19) Whenever a system becomes completely defined, some damn fool discovers something which either abolishes the system or expands it beyond recognition.

(20) Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not understand.

(21) If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.

(22) The opulence of the front office decor varies inversely with the fundamental solvency of the firm.

(23) An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing.

(24) Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch to be sure.

(25) All great discoveries are made by mistake.

(26) Always draw your curves, then plot your reading.

(27) Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.

(28) A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost.

(29) A failure will not appear till a unit has passed final inspection.

(30) New systems generate new problems.

(31) To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.

(32) Any given program, when running, is obsolete.

(33) Some people manage by the book, even though they don't know who wrote the book or even what book.

(34) The primary function of the design engineer is to make things difficult for the fabricator and impossible for the serviceman.

(35) After all is said and done, a hell of a lot more is said than done.

(36) Any circuit design must contain at least one part which is obsolete, two parts which are unobtainable and three parts which are still under development.

(37) A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a simple system that works.

(38) If mathematically you end up with the incorrect answer, try multiplying by the page number.

(39) Give all orders verbally. Never write anything down that might go into a "Pearl Harbor File."

(40) Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of pressure, temperature, volume, humidity, and other variables the organism will do as it damn well pleases.

(41) All things are possible except skiing through a revolving door.

(42) Work smarder and not harder and be careful of yor speling.

(43) If it's not in the computer, it doesn't exist.

(44) If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.

(45) When all else fails, read the instructions.

(46) If there is a possibility of several things going wrong the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.

(47) Everything that goes up must come down.

(48) Any instrument when dropped will roll into the least accessible corner.

(49) Any simple theory will be worded in the most complicated way.

(50) Build a system that even a fool can use and only a fool will want to use it.

Murphy's Laws of Love

(51) All the good ones are taken.

(52) The nicer someone is, the farther away (s)he is from you.

(53) Brains * Beauty * Availability = Constant.

(54) The amount of love someone feels for you is inversely proportional to how much you love them.

(55) Money can't buy love, but it sure gets you a great bargaining position.

(56) Every kind action has a not-so-kind reaction.

(57) Nice guys(girls) finish last.

(58) If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.

(59) Availability is a function of time. The minute you get interested is the minute they find someone else.